Lost

can't say i recognize this person. she doesn't seem real. "everything i want is miles away." alone and getting lonelier by the hour. ready to break, but i just don't have the energy for a full out meltdown. want to feel fingers combing through my hair and know that i'm not impossible to understand. there is no method to my madness. there is only outrageous chaos that blinds and cripples. most of the time i can't figure out right from left. can't imagine how this is fair. the cycle repeats. slowly coming to the conclusion that my knowledge reaches too far. struck with an intensity too high to settle for average. this mind races too quickly for anyone to hope to catch up to it. feeling tricked and betrayed by another artificial light. playing the fool once over, and believing in tomorrow. when the deflating reality sets in that you're still the same you that you've always been the effects can be devastating. i'll be here longer than anticipated. the bottom is so familiar and welcoming.

you know that i could use somebody.