long live the car crash hearts

deleted what was previously blogged.


forgot to not get ahead of myself.
i'm extremely selfish,
and for that i am very sorry.
won't be hard to get over it,
i'm ready for that.
i'm just not ready to give up completely.
keeping the light on behind a locked door.

This heart's caving in

edit::
the sunrise peaks through my window,
and somehow i'm reminded of how you look to me.
a new day. a new light. breathe it in.



but you can't love a wild thing.

turn your face to the left, so i can look at you in the light

never in history has there been a landslide victory- for me anyways. its the sickest feeling being so close to you while your mind is so far. i can feel it wandering to places i can't follow. been a bit distant, unless you're around. my mind always wanders to you. you can't undue what's been done here. make it pretty clear where i stand with you. her smile compared to everything i wish i was. want to know you. what do you know about me? notice things no one else ever would. don't think you notice i'm captivated by you, or maybe i'm just hoping you don't. stacato thoughts and broken phrases. trying to make sense of it all- ha. goodluckdreamer



I just want to hold your hand.

"What a Catch, Donnie"

can't believe how i'm feeling right now- it's over. it's begining. it's too late. it's never too soon. begging for this not to end. i'm not ready to live with memories just yet.



life feels right- for now. the future is as blurred as ever.
couldn't be more scared, or excited.


you look so good in blue.

disabused

had a lot to say.
then got too ahead of myself to write it down.

friends or battle cries

just want to send you quotes straight from the call. im humbled. im overjoyed. tear up when i think of how we've all come full circle. its the unity that hones in on its target. we used to have something so small. til we all grew. could never forget if i tried, though i know i would never want to. things change so much. said i wish i would have done things different - now i know i never would. glad we didn't tell each other goodbye. i'd hold you if you came running. lift you up to the highest. no one feels this feeling. hope one day you all do. turn your head back to what used to be and smile at the memory. let it grow strong. let it be loud. every one of you has a special place right here. it remains the same in the glow and heat of the sun. its bitter sweet. it still means the world. i'd run if you called - i'll still look on even if you didn't. got a heart that can hold the old with the new. this is my ode to you, to us. the friendship we all shared that summer and every summer past. no matter the changes. you're all here. i've got your shadows on my walls. your laughter resides in my ceilings. your ghosts run through the darkness. its a plague, but its welcome. and to those brilliant few who have stayed - i've got your shadows on the walls of my heart. your laughter resides in my soul. and your ghosts will forever run through my mind when we've parted ways to live out the rest of our lives. just thanking you for everything- for the life you've all given me.



"Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forge
tLet your memories grow stronger and stronger
Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye"