"Dear you, tonight lets get ahead of ourselves"

go back to that summer and remember what it meant to you then. I think sometimes you have to break your own heart to feel alright. like you've got to stop it from working the way it was and make it function the way you want it programed. all your troubles were only ever self-inflicted and over exaggerated. stop the vicious cycle all together. find a niche where you feel alright and stay there until it passes. moral of the story - if it won't stop raining, make your own fucking sunlight.


I'm going to burn down Neverland. I want to grow up so fast that I can't remember what happened. I do not want this life any more and no one is going to stop me. All I keep hearing is "we have control" well if we have control, here it is right out in the open. I want it all to be over. And I want it to be over now. Say whatever you want, think whatever the fuck you want, but this is what I want. This is what I believe and this is what I'm going to make mine because no matter who it hurts. I'm done, and I'm not sorry. I don't believe in forever because I don't believe in today. I refuse to look back. I want to move foward at the speed of light.


You're mind pulls at what it was like back then and how it feels right now. And I always find myself back at that summer. I remember what it felt like beside you, and how you looked draped with the glow of the fire. I hate how much it hurts living in a moment you wish you could erase. I don't just want the burrial and tombstone I want the fucking memorial parade.


It's a trick of the light. same meanings, just cleverly contrieved words arranged so you can/'t understand.

I've got all these feelings and no place to put them : take two

Just so you know I'll never get rid of that collage you made for me and I don't regret wasting my money to get you a mcflurry when you were crying and i'll miss how crazy your house is in the morning when im trying to sleep because we were up way too late the night beforetalking about the rest of our lives and how monotonous things can get right when you thought they couldn't get any worse
I never let things go
expecially things i really love
/rant.


can't help but feel something's missing. i try to hint at it but no one's ever been too good at following my broken paths. i miss things i shouldn't miss and im thinking about things i shouldnt ever think about. everytime this comes back i get a feeling in my stomach and i know it wont ever leave. everytime you come back i pray you stick around forever. my mind goes back and forth until its not okay to think anymore. oxygen (or whats left of it)spreading to every other limb except my brain. theres always something to be said. feel useless and irritating.



sighs
and back to the real world.