light up text king

raging inward, tired of wishing my anger at the world. really, it just might be easier this way. constant disappointment is by far safer than a sporadically rising and deflating hope. I want to make this place safe for my words again. you've got me bound by so many ties. it makes me sick to document it down, but at the same time i know i'm perfectly content with this charade we play. i've got wit to spare, and any mind fuck is going to outdo the real thing every time. worrying now that i've placed too much of myself on the most feeble of bets. desperate from the core of me to keep expanding my knowledge. i feel more animated than ever before. god forbid it all ends now. as thinking prophets, humans create their own worst nightmares. you won't lose yourself over something that doesn't matter. truth is, someday you won't anymore. there will be a new soul to chew over. fresher and more enticing. for now everything you are is daggers, and i'll keep pushing my heel back into the blade until we mutually resolve this tension.

i'll keep being your place holder

please, just don't go.