down and out

more than confused. more than angry. sleepless nights waiting for the sunrise, followed by sleepless mornings agonizing over your troubled head. i am not out of character, and you don't care. why would you? becoming far too invested, but never mind. slouching shoulders and glaring eyes. pick me up. i want to beam. i want it to be you, but right now i just want you to go away forever. terrified you might be thinking the same. My thoughts are stuck. having so much to say, but no motivation to let it out is enough to send me to my knees. disappointed. begging for you to enlighten me. I never want to know, except I always do.

"I don't know where you've been, but I could wash your sins away."