don't call me up when the snow comes down

this heart has seen the broad side of a bus one too many times. standing in the middle of a fast moving freeway - eyes closed. what a stupid idea. what a stupid girl. always knew who you were, and it was so easy to decide not to care. so the jokes on me. what's new? i would have shared it all with you, but you turn your face on the world.





so you're not sorry.
neither am i.

sitting on top of the bottom

trying to make this easy.
heavier hearts feel lighter when you spill your dreams on the street.
want to light a billboard outside your house.
no matter how bright
i know you'd find a way to shine brighter.
cast a dark spot on the horizon in comparison.
still, all signs are go - mission impossible
i guess i'll see you when i see you.

It's not me - it's you.

my favorite face. "i will never believe in anything again." did you mean what you said? what a mess. mostly just for me. if i survive this it'll be a miracle. asked for a day without compromise - God ignores. folded hands and crashing hips to your favorite song.
wish you'd sing it to me.



Merry Christmas, I could care less.

hey, so i'm a real big fan of yours

laugh at how many ways you make me jealous.
put me to shame.
we'll miss you here when the time comes.
would it be possible to pull your head close?
mine goes with the volume.
wish this was describable.



look like the twilight, magnetize me.

Freckle, Freckle.

Go from high to love faster than you could comprehend. a brain that pre-programs in the morning turns out to abort itself every few minutes. never the same person at day break as when your head hits the pillow. throwing myself in my own convent. don't want to fall apart. would give too much for a deep breath and the ultimate form of relaxation. RIL receptors in the foreground of my mind flip their switch- send me in a frenzy. begging for sleep.



"I love the mayhem more than the love"
knew you were impossible. i've never been proven wrong before.
sadly its only sad for you.
you're predictable, what a pitty.

sandman

"Head like a steal trap"

guarded.
reaching to you through airwaves.
thinking of hips and fast get aways.
you're worshiped
you're loved
you're absolutely terrible.

take deep breaths of you.
breathe easier.

enraged.

never been thrown around so much in all my life. brought to my knees. bad always follows the good. worse follows the great. want you to know i've never been so infactuated.

"the way i think of you is billboard big
only i could never tell (you)"

i was too lucky to speak to you in the first place. you look like everything i've thought come to life. so many words explain you. none help me figure you out. mooning over you through lyrics and melodys. knew i signed a deal with the devil. can't say i wouldn't do it again. can say im sick of this pattern. you don't even know me. do you even want to?

light up my phone, im sitting in the dark.

that's so you

life as i know it has ended. flying through long chapters in a short time. feel like im missing things. feel like im winning it all- or nothing. trying desperatly to hold this all together. it could be slipping through my fingers. getting away from me. treading water gets harder after all this time, and you're no help. its always up and down with you. know its no good, but the pull you have on me is will shattering. i'm out of my head with this.



breathing for a second would be nice.
"its not a side effect of the cocaine."

Takes the bait

it goes both ways.



I want to kiss you

giving a title to your dying day- everyday.

sick and twisted and screaming. can't hold on to this. feeling like your only option is to send yourself flying out a window. want you to know how many times it's come down to love and leave. how simple is it for the world to walk away. they all face toward the sunrise as you walk into the sunset. never seeing the dawn of a new day. reality closes in too quick for the walking wounded. this constant prayer begging for an answer has gotten nothing. ignored. when you can't stand to be alone, lonliness is obviously the worst thought. can't stand to live it day to day. phantom scents bring the clearest memories. send molten honey down my throat, through my limbs. its you, breaking through. if i don't surrender to this- well i'll just promise to make it through the night.



no backbone.
to worn out to remember how or why.