Manifest

A materialization of pain. The world weighs too heavy today. This isn't a choice. It isn't a plea for attention. It is a reality I am faced with everyday. Don't pretend like you know if you don't. Don't try to understand, because those of us down here can't even understand it ourselves. I want to be brilliant and universal. Waiting for the right soul to show me the light.

Come over, come over.

havoc

You make the possibilities unfold.

You're interesting and I hardly know you.

You're really just another asphyxiation of mindless obsession.

sorry.

i'm not one for love songs

honestly, i desperately want this to be okay. waking up not feeling weighed down by the hours would be a miracle at this point. running in circles, chasing my tail. running toward what i've already past. put me on repeat and watch me play. at some point the warmth from the hearts of those i love most won't be enough. its getting colder everyday. stiffening joints and frozen impulses would have been frightening before, but its almost certain i won't be able to muster up the energy to care. every second is spent searching for you, or anyone. i should just slow down and take it easy. a day by day commitment to save the little bit of soul i've got left. but everything is a contradiction. my mind races, my heart follows. slowly my flesh and all its excess move through daily life. a saunter for the sick, for the dirtbags and wasted youth. we do our dance to the rhythm of the grind. we're so fucked up because all we've got is burdens. were burdens on each other and each person we may think or wish we knew. sticking together can only get you so far in this game. kids, we're almost timed out.

and its not surprising that i'm going to end this way. its predictable, but you could save me. not in my normal sense of overwhelming romance or hopeless longing, but rather friendship. a few completely interesting souls to spend my nights with.

i miss complexities i've never had.

passion, laughter. ignite me. engulf me.