you come along because i love your face

yesterday had so many words, but today is a completely different story. driving past headstones, holding my breath. you've got no grace, but you're everything that's interesting to me. we'd never match, not in the slightest. but if i said i cared i'd be more than lying. next time the words flow let's not forget to write them down. hoping something will work out - eventually.

for now..fuck. everything is too fucking passionate.

forgetfulness is annoying

everything is fire and smoke and mirrors. thinking up a plan. i just might try striking out again for the fun of it. i'll attach metaphors to your face and smile over nothings not so sweet. wanting tomorrow. but first, let's just see how the energy flows.

i hope i'll be seeing you soon.

awkward

everything can look new in different lighting accompanied by the right soundtrack and mood. what once was dust covered and grimy can suddenly turn bright and pink with the freshness of new life. these tired eyes lie awake, open and shocked due to a simple cliche. for being such an outlier, you just wound up pretty normal. there is nothing epic in your story, so i'll nod and be polite because being honest at this point just won't do. the majority of my being is trying desperately to keep a smile plastered across my face because truthfully its what i want. i want to always feel the sun. i want the giddy excitement to stir in my chest for no apparent reason. but there is a chunk of my soul that lingers at the bottom, constantly snapping its ugly head at these contras. so i'll keep writing, and i'll keep pushing this little monster down, because i want to be my own form of high.

but hey, just a random and contradictory p.s. -

i think you're pretty too.

glory days

trying with futile efforts to clean up this mess, to clean off your stain. everything i know is tainted by everything you are. ready to be over it. ready to be new, but you just won't let me be. really thats only half true. my duty has been fulfilled for the time being, so thank you for writing me off. of course i'll be here, i won't give up on you even after you've completely given up on me. its clear we belong like this.

thoughts are drifting to a new possibility.

your eyes are completely new. i've never known a shade so full

and i want to know what's going on behind them.

at the same time, i'd rather die than visit the end of the earth again. this storm is raging inside and out. i want something i don't have to doubt. true as the lines of your face. go ahead, tell me what you're thinking.

light up text king

raging inward, tired of wishing my anger at the world. really, it just might be easier this way. constant disappointment is by far safer than a sporadically rising and deflating hope. I want to make this place safe for my words again. you've got me bound by so many ties. it makes me sick to document it down, but at the same time i know i'm perfectly content with this charade we play. i've got wit to spare, and any mind fuck is going to outdo the real thing every time. worrying now that i've placed too much of myself on the most feeble of bets. desperate from the core of me to keep expanding my knowledge. i feel more animated than ever before. god forbid it all ends now. as thinking prophets, humans create their own worst nightmares. you won't lose yourself over something that doesn't matter. truth is, someday you won't anymore. there will be a new soul to chew over. fresher and more enticing. for now everything you are is daggers, and i'll keep pushing my heel back into the blade until we mutually resolve this tension.

i'll keep being your place holder

please, just don't go.