awkward

everything can look new in different lighting accompanied by the right soundtrack and mood. what once was dust covered and grimy can suddenly turn bright and pink with the freshness of new life. these tired eyes lie awake, open and shocked due to a simple cliche. for being such an outlier, you just wound up pretty normal. there is nothing epic in your story, so i'll nod and be polite because being honest at this point just won't do. the majority of my being is trying desperately to keep a smile plastered across my face because truthfully its what i want. i want to always feel the sun. i want the giddy excitement to stir in my chest for no apparent reason. but there is a chunk of my soul that lingers at the bottom, constantly snapping its ugly head at these contras. so i'll keep writing, and i'll keep pushing this little monster down, because i want to be my own form of high.

but hey, just a random and contradictory p.s. -

i think you're pretty too.