so that we know it hurts.

spending time locked away, wrapped in myself. creating fiction so fantastic its as if i could make it play out word for word. i could simply say hello, and you'd start spitting out the words i've pretended you've sad one too many times. the best part of this falsehood is that it feels like if i could let you fall into into speaking these words, you'd mean them. its dangerous being this weak for you. one step away from shattering this beautiful fable i've fabricated on nothing but longing and the space of dead air. hoping still that maybe someday i'll click my heals, and you'll know to wish for me too.

i've put myself beside you, filling the space between your arms. here is where we should fall asleep, but i let you drift as i stay awake. i listen to your breathing as it steadies, and i slow my lungs to match your rhythm. your heart beats so heavy i hear it pulsing against the edges of my mind. i turn to find your face, and am surprised to see you starring back. your smile spreads wide. i kiss your teeth and find your hand. safe and content, i drift into a sleep too comfortable to dream. the hours pass until the sunlight streams in, and i wake in a panic with an empty hand. still, your back is pressed to mine. there is a moment where i wonder how we drifted so far through the night, but before i have time to process the feelings rising to the surface, you stir and quickly search the space surrounding you. i turn, you take my hand, and our bodies involuntarily mold to each other's frames.

here sits the evidence for which i have built my case. you once were here, and though you may have left i still feel you everywhere. my only hope lies in that some day i will turn to search for you, and there you'll be searching for me too.

wanting nothing more than to wake up to find your skin

looking into the sweetest pair of eyes that have ever starred back at mine.