not afraid to die

just afraid of dying lonely. but the sound feels the same. loneliness. fills my head with heavy thoughts. think i like it most because it takes its space in the parts im missing. single celled. muliplying. stretching across the wound to binde to the open seering edges. paralize the ache. all to make me happier, for now anyway. went to the place where i dreamed of us. together building something real. a cure. a relief. a sign. its twisted to know i'll always have you with me. though i'd love to let you leave, i know i never could. take it personally. i can't believe i let you do this. wonder how you'd live if you knew. or would you even care. or did you ever care.


bleed and dream
run
sit and sturr
barricade
binde and break
settle

this is you

swallow and divulge
comfort
hold and speak
release
hide and relax
forget

this is you to me

Missouri Girl

because you're the only thing I was ever actually good at. and after all this time i know why i loved you. I knew what to say. I knew how to act. All i had to do was be. just be me, be completely free. and there you were. i've come around. randomly out of no where, there you'll be again. taking me over. I can't smile, can't think about anything except why you arn't here. we've all got to come around to this. spent a night with the greatest people I've ever known. had one of the greatest feelings i've had in a while. i hope i don't forget it too soon. visions for the future are looking bright. for now anyway.



oh. and one last thing.
i'm glad i didn't wish for you