Won't be 17 forever.

31 minutes left of a beautiful year in my life. want to immortalize my 17 year old self forever. I've seen so much in so short a time. it makes me anxious to think of all that is still to come. i understand that everyone goes through these same motions, but i just can't wrap my head or my heart around how people manage to move on. i've been a kid for so long, it's all i know. it is all i understand. i just don't want to forget what this feels like. ever. diving into the unknown, i know i'll never really grow up. age is more than just a number, but regardless that doesn't stop me from being scared shitless. so much failure is ahead of me. its the most probable. the most possible. but my folded hands and desperate heart are begging for "a life deliberate." i want to be better than i am.

so here i am at 17 years old:

laughing

loved

ecstatic

changed

the same

moved

zealous

jealous

scared

in love

free

bitter

struggling

praying

wishing

messy

ridiculous

hilarious

forever young.