so exhausted i couldn't even think of a title for this. i only know that this feeling of resting solo against gravity is more tiring than running against the grain as a pair. wanting to feel sick and restless is outside the realm of normal. its rested and full of health - yet somehow it's sicker. i want to have reasons and excuses to bear the weight of what's around the corner (and creeping faster every day). i'm holding on to self-manufactured happiness. saving my concerns for another night. focused now on flaws i want someone to notice, and then ignore. focused on the small things i want to motivate me. to move me closer to love. further from inadequacy.

closer to you (to anyone).